Bedazzled

Bedazzled [1967]

Most of you are familiar with the movie made in 2000 called Bedazzled with Elizibeth Hurly and Brendan Fraser. But not all may be aware it was a part remake of a classic british hit staring comedy duo Dudley Moore and Peter Cook.

We start with Stanley Moon (Dudley Moore). Stanley is a short order cook at a local cafe. His one wish in life is to gain the courage to ask out the waitress that has worked there with him for years. After years of frustration, he decides to end his life. Before he does, the Devil (Peter Cook), offers him seven wishes in return for his soul.

After reluctantly accepting, he begins using his wishes. In between wishes, he spends most his time talking with the Devil and his many employees. The Devils employees include Anger, Sloth, Gluttony, and Lust (Raquel Welch) to name a few.  Soon, he starts to realize each wish has a twist or a catch. It is then up to him to out smart the Devil into getting what he really wants.

Well, lets begin with the positives. Cook and Moore work well together, and their timing is very natural. There are moments when I laughed out loud. Including the ‘pop star’ scene, the ’bouncy nun’ scene, and other parts where the two would banter. The movie is shot beautifully. It completely captures the ‘MOD’ scene of Swinging London. The music, the visuals, the clothing…. it’s all there!

But man, is it gonna cost you. The movie seems too long. Maybe they were revolutionary for the time, but I feel majority of the jokes were so small and tiny, you could see them coming a mile away. I wanted to fast forward often. And its no wonder they made the Devil a woman in the remake. Perhaps its because they are English, but at times, Stanley and the Devils relationship seemed down right homosexual. So when you have two males sharing the entire movie together, you should throw in some eye candy to get your mind on the ’straight’ path right? Well, perhaps that was what Raquel Welch was for. They have her plastered all over every poster, booklet or DVD cover for this movie. But shes hardly in the movie. I think you may see her twice and that’s it. So, Raquel fans, you will be disappointed.

A classic comedy it may be, but for me, I would say 2 stars. I think if you were REALLY in the mood for this sort of thing, it could be 3 stars. If you do watch it, I recommend watching it with friends so you can goof off during the movie MST3K style, it would make it a lot better than it was for me (alone in a room).

Day of the Dead

Day of the Dead [1985]

George A. Romero continues half horror, half human commentary in his living dead series with Day of the Dead. Taking place after Dawn of the Dead and just before Land of the Dead, Day of the Dead deals with some key developments in the series.

We start in Florida with a group of human survivors after the zombie infestation. Although very small, this group is organized into 3 parts. Military, doctors, and working civilians. Their goals are to find other survivors, wait for word from Washington D.C., and continue scientific research on zombies.

The movie revolves primarily around ‘Sarah’ (Lori Cardille). But many others are key players too. Such as Dr. Logan (Richard Liberty). Although very kind, he is somewhat of a mad scientist. He shrugs off the nickname ‘Frankenstein’ and continues his research. Other doctors search for a cure. He believes that will take far more time and research than they may have left on this planet. Instead, he focuses his time on trying to find a method of domesticating them, or as he says “…teaching them to behave…”

His most promising subject is a zombie named after Logan’s father. Simply ‘Bub’. Bub is showing great progress as he tries to grasp concepts from his former human life. If you put a book in front of him, he picks it up and slowly attempts to turn the pages as if to read.

Despite the progress, the 3 groups are NOT cooperating well, and the new military commander is becoming a dictator. There is a lot of stress when you have been living in an underground base and you have the same contact with the same 12 people. No fancy dinners, no radio, no TV, no companionship of the opposite sex… As ego’s rise and tempers flare, the humans become more dangerous to each other than the zombies ever were.

Well, without giving too much away, this zombie movie is damn good. Romero’s carrier has highs and lows, and this is very much one of his highs. Most his movies deal with a social commentary if you will… It is often cited, but is without a doubt at its most strongest with Day of the Dead. You get a ironic contrast with ‘Bub’ the somewhat nice zombie, and the evil dictator like military commander Capt. Rhodes (Joe Pilato). The humans start to wonder if they deserve this terrible fate. Because they cannot treat each other with any decency. Its beautifully done. I absolutely loved the story.

The special effects (or EFX as they were called back then) are second to none. Tom Savini once again easily proves why he is the king of pre-CGI special effects. Simply a terrific job on his part. And that also has to do with the violence. The violence was powerful, horrifying and gratuitous. Man, there were quite a few times where I screamed in pain as something was happening to someone! Now that’s entertainment! Oh yeah! The soundtrack was super 80s eerie. Very well done.

B u t . . . not all is perfect in this zombie infestation. Just as horrifying as movie was the horrifying acting. I found most of it to be quite amateur. Like a play where everyone from your church or school has to participate. Sure, some are better than others… even OK… but there is 80% bad ones dragging you down. And it really doesn’t help the movie…

Which leaves me with this. 4 stars. Very good for a zombie movie, almost to the very top! But there has been much better acting in zombie films. And line after line, this one slowly drains itself of a 5 star rating.

A word about movie, music, and other media reviews

Here is a rundown of rankings:

1 Star: Terrible. Don’t waste your time or money.

2 Star: It’s got some good stuff, but enjoy it for cheap or free.

3 Star: Pretty good. Nothing mind blowing, but very decent.

4 Star: Great! Make sure to try it out if you get the chance! Very solid!

5 Star: What are you doing reading this review? Go out and buy a copy this moment! It should be in everyones collection!

Just so you all know, my ranking for media is not simply graded by a sliding scale. I am actually pitting media against their genre. For example, Gods Army may not be a 5 star movie by normal movie standards, but when you put it with the category it belongs (Mormon movies), then it becomes a lot better. Or Bandidas may be a terrible movie, but when you grade it as a western, its still… well OK, it would still be terrible. But it moves up a tiny bit.

Adios Senoritas

Escape from New York

Escape from New York [1981]

In 1981, John Carpenter gave us Snake Plisskin in the form of Escape from New York.

A look into the future takes us to 1997. New York, over time, has been turned into a giant prison to house the nations criminals. A wall of stone and water has been built, and there is no way out. Within New York, you still have your freedom, however it does not mean much when surrounded by dangerous criminals and no laws to protect you. When Air Force One is hijacked, they crash the plane in New York, leaving the president of the United States left to fend for himself amongst lawless criminals.

Soon, the president is captured for ransom. The head police commissioner known as Bob Hauk (Lee Van Cleef) decides to give new inmate Snake Plisskin (Kurt Russell) a shot at wiping the slate clean….. if he can rescue the president in 24 hours. Snake is ex-special forces and knows his way in and out of tight spots. After fitting him with some gear and a virus that will kill him if he fails or tries to flee, he begins his run through this terrible city.

Well, what can I say? Many people look up to this movie as a classic cult film. Many have been raised on Snake Plisskin, and its easy to see that he was the inspiration for ‘Snake’ in the video game series ‘Metal Gear’. Anytime you take in a ‘cult’ movie, or ‘B’ movie, you have to be prepared for it to suck. Because sometimes, the reason it is popular is because people like to sit back and laugh at its ridiculousness. Like the 80s classics ‘Voyage of the Rock Aliens’ or ‘Ice Pirates’. Other times, they are ‘cult’ or ‘B’ because you were expecting so little, and it actually paid off larger than you thought.

For me, I came in with an open mind (this was my first time viewing this movie). I was ready for the movie to suck so I can laugh, or for it to surprise me with good things. It did neither. Nothing stood out in this movie. There was no part where I said “Wow! That’s cool!”. I never laughed out loud. It was simply just a ho-hum story. No action stood out. Acting was reminiscent of a TV movie on the W.B. And on the flip side, nothing was spun off as over the top for me to laugh at.

It wasn’t a worthless piece of garbage. It has screen legends Lee Van Cleef and Ernest Borgnine. They are always welcome. The whole 80s visuals and sound effects were super high-tech. There are quite a few twists at the end as well. It was appreciated. Not to mention the clout that comes with viewing a ‘classic’ you can now talk about with friends, coworkers, associates, etc.

Man, I know I’m gonna get in trouble for this with most my friends. Maybe you will give me hell in the comments, but I gotta be honest. 2 stars. You can watch it once. I’m not gonna give it 1 star and say avoid it like the plague. But its just not something I see wanting to own. I’m gonna trade in my copy on my days off as a matter of fact.

Electra Glide in Blue

Electra Glide in Blue [1973]

Someone once said, “Electra Glide in Blue is the best movie you have never heard of.” Whoever said that, I would most defiantly have to agree. Before I tell you why I found this so entertaining, lets start with the basics.

Robert Blake stars as ‘John Wintergreen’. Wintergreen is sometimes referred to as ‘Big John’, a tease as to his very short height. John is a motorcycle cop in Arizona. Along with his partner ‘Zipper’ (Billy Green Bush), they lead a boring job writing tickets and citations. Zipper is just fine with that, but Big John has big dreams.

He wants to become a detective and get all the glitz and glamour that goes along with it. Well, a murder falsely set up as a suicide give him the chance to prove his detective skills. And as he plays his usual “by the book” routine, he finds people on both sides of the law are constantly trying to bend it in their favor. While searching for the murderer, he listens to what everyone says rather than listening to the voice within himself, telling him what he knew was true all the long.

But you know, living “by the book” and listening to yourself can only get you so far, and John Wintergreen has a few more lessons to learn before the credits roll.

Electra Glide in Blue is an odd little movie. This movie is very difficult to write about. It really must be seen to appreciate its full beauty. There is no ONE climax that the movie builds around. Rather, several small ones. It keeps the flow smooth and always ready for the next moment. I have not seen any other Robert Blake movies, but from what I hear, this is his best performance. I don’t doubt that one bit. This performance is nothing short of perfect. You feel like John Wintergreen is a real person. Most likely someone you have met in real life before. Also, Billy Green Bush does a fantastic job as Zipper. Someone get this man a best supporting actor nomination please!! The same can go for Mitchell Ryan playing detective ‘Harve Pool’. Yes, I know hes the dad from ‘Dharma & Greg’, but a role like this shows he can do much more.

The story and acting are so gripping, they suck you in the middle immediately. It makes you think on many multilayer levels. After pulling your thoughts and emotions in so many directions, its hard to find a common theme in the movie. But as confused as it may seem, its really a beautiful piece of work. When you see Wintergreen put on his detective suit for the first time, or when you see him pull over a Vietnam vet truck driver, or when you see Zipper’s joy to show off his new bike, it all feels so real, it could be a documentary almost. Maybe slightly exaggerated, but still real to life none the less

This is a wonderful movie, but its not perfect. People put this in the stunt car movie category. They say the motorcycle chase scene is like ‘Vanishing Point’ or ‘Gone in 60 seconds’. If you are watching it for this reason, prepare to be disappointed. There is only one chase scene, and it seems to only last one minute. It is very well done, but still, this is not a ‘chase’ or ride by the seat of your pants type movie.

Although I have high praises, I’m not sure this movie is a 5 star complete classic. Some people may find it useless and boring. You will at the very least be entertained however. After much thought between 3, 4, and 5 stars, I have decided to give it a 4. Hopefully, you will see why, if you have a different opinion, let me know! That’s why we have comments!

The Last Dragon

The Last Dragon [1985]

The Last Dragon stars Taimak as ‘Leroy Green’ AKA ‘Bruce Leroy’. Leroy is a devout kung fu practitioner that idolizes Bruce Lee. He is so in touch with eastern philosophy and arts, he is often uncomfortable in his Harlem setting.

He continues to follow his own path, no matter who makes fun of him or teases him. Soon, by chance, he falls in love with a Video DJ ‘Laura Charles’ played by Vanity. Laura has a popular TV show showcasing video talent for the masses. An evil and corrupt talent agent tries to kidnap Laura to force her to play his lousy acts. Leroy must come to the rescue and all the while battle thugs and other martial artists including ‘Sho Nuff‘ the shogun of Harlem played by Julius Carry. Leroy is also guided by a quest for personal enlightenment… a quest to attain ‘The Glow’.

Berry Gordy produced this little golden gem. As a matter of fact, the technical name is ‘Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon’. It was also used as a vehicle to boost carriers of several Motown artists. Motown was virtually on the brink of extinction in the mid 80s, and a movie would be a great way to make some sweet profits. Did I mention Berry Gordy produced this?!?! There are many shameless Motown plugs. Full songs are displayed with no apology, and even music videos have their own awkward sections that seem to force their way into this movie. Oh yeah! BERRY GORDY produced this!

Taimak is a fighter first, and he had to learn acting on the set while in between scenes. He doesn’t do a bad job, but it helps that the person he is playing is choppy, robotic, and out of touch. Vanity has a little song and dance number. Although I’m sure she is very attractive by 80s standards, her singing made me want to pull a cleaning string in one ear and out the other. And her tacky dancing made me want to turn off the movie.

Another thing that really got me worked up is the generalizing of Asian culture. Is it Japanese? Is it Chinese? NO! Its oriental dummy! He learns kung fu, a Chinese art, from a clearly Japanese teacher. Sho Nuff, a Chinese kung fu master is the Shogun of Harlem. A Shogun is Japanese. Leroy often dresses as a ninja, a Japanese style stealth fighter. Then he dresses like a Chinese rice farmer, but calls his parents mama-san and papa-san. San being the equivalent of Mr. or Mrs. in Japanese. Had they done just a slight bit of research, they could have avoided offending many cultures.

But wait… isn’t that kinda what the great US of A is all about? I mean, we are such a melting pot, its our job to generalize to a degree. Many out there agree that they would rather have Pizza Hut or Domino’s twice a week than Italian style pizza. Lots of Americans prefer teriyaki chicken to some of the other off the wall Japanese dishes. Just like Buddhism, we love to take what we feel are the best of each culture and assimilate it into our own.

Despite all the little nasty things I have to say about this movie. Its still has an undeniable charm. The comedy is over the top on purpose, the action is actually pretty dang good. Its filled with 80s cliches, and the style is awesome. Like a super cute kid that broke your expensive flashlight on accident, you cant stay mad at it. This movie had a lot of heart, a overall good message, and it was thoroughly entertaining.

So, even though we can be overly critical at times, the big question is, did I have fun? Yes, yes I did. And most all will too. 3 stars.

Jackie Brown

Jackie Brown [1997]

Pam Grier stars as ‘Jackie Brown’ in Quentin Tarantino’s film adaptation of the now famous novel ‘Rum Punch’.

The film has an all-star cast including not only Pam Grier, but Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster, Robert De Niro, Michael Keaton, and Bridget Fonda as well.

Jackie works as a flight attendant for a small Mexican airline. However, the pay is minimal, so she is involved in bringing illegal money into the country for a ruthless, low-life weapons dealer, Ordell Robbie (Jackson). As the police begin to crack down on Ordell, they take various people into custody, including Jackie Brown. Fearing his employees may snitch, Ordell begins to find ways to ’silence’ them.

Max Cherry (Robert Forster) a bail bondsmen, comes to Jackie’s rescue and begins to fall deeply for her. Together the two plan an elaborate scheme to get Ordell’s cash money, ditch the cops, and leave their dead end lives behind. This proves difficult as the police are watching their every move. Not only that, but Ordell has his own movers and shakers including Louis Gara (Robert De Niro) and Melanie Ralston (Bridget Fonda) to put the squeeze on them.

I find this movie to be one of the most solid movies available. The script is tight, the acting is the best around, and the story telling is fantastic! They really found a diamond in the rough with Pam Grier. Other than her skin color, you would never guess she got her start in Blaxploitation films. She carries herself with such a presence, you would swear she studied at Juilliard. Not only that, she look amazing for 48 (at the time of the films release). Another star that shines perhaps more than it was intended to, was Robert Forster as Max. Forster does a terrific job as a gentle, reliable, and tough when necessary aging man. His performance is defiantly reminiscent of the leading roles in classic western movies. And when this old ’square’ white guy falls in love with a slick sista, he preforms it innocently and makes it more than realistic.

On the villain side, Samuel L. Jackson does a terrific job in what I think is one of his best roles ever. He perfectly walks the fine line between too cool for school and paranoid. If you had your own personal Samuel L. Jackson, you could throw out your microwave, because his stone cold gazes would heat your food up in a jiffy. As usual, you can count on Bobby De Niro to bring his A game. People thinking acting dumb is easy. I find it to be one of the most challenging roles an actor can take on. Like Sylvester Stallone in Cop Land, Robert De Niro plays it second nature. Trust me, its much harder than it looks. Both together seem harmless, but the danger is real when you cross them.

The story is awesome, and much like Scorsese’s Casino or Goodfellas, you are taken for a ride by the seat of your pants, with every factor explained to you in detail. The only thing I could find wrong with this movie, was Jackie gets off the hook a little too easy, and Ordell’s last scene has no real satisfaction.

But overall, it was so well done, it effortlessly deserves 4 stars. Its very close to a 5 star, but I just don’t see it as a movie you would love to show off to all your friends when they come over. It being over 2 and 1/2 hours makes it hard to pop in over and over.

Mean Streets

Mean Streets [1973]

Martin Scorsese takes us on a honest and turbulent journey through Little Italy. This is done in the eyes of Charlie (Harvey Keitel). Charlie is always searching for something with a deeper meaning. Wether its the local mafia, church, or his friendships, he strives for a greater connection. Unfortunately, for Charlie, all seems to be against each other. Within the mafia he wants to move up. Within the church, he seeks true salvation. And within his friendships, he feels the need to protect and look out for those less fortunate than him.

Enter Johnny Boy (Robert De Niro). Johnny Boy is a character most of us in life have known. And if you don’t recognize him, you probably are like him. Johnny Boy is irresponsible, free-spirited, and self destructive. The kind of guy that you swore said he would give you gas money, and when you reach empty, he suddenly doesn’t know what you are talking about. But he can be fun to be around, and his life is in worse shape than yours, so you constantly forgive him, smile, and move on.

Charlie feels the need to help out, protect, and even clean up Johnny Boy’s messes. But even Charlie seems to know that by patronizing him, he will only prolong the inevitable. As magnetic as Johnny Boy is, and as minor as his misdeeds may be, every one knows the wild roller coaster will eventually have to come to an end.

This movie really spoke to me on many levels. The character of Charlie is one I can relate to. He seeks true salvation rather than the cliche religious lip service some churches give out. He is mentally trapped between his lover, his friend, his salvation, and his job. None of them want to cut him some slack for the other. Keitel plays the role effortlessly, proving he can be a power house, or a quiet storm. De Niro, however, steals the show. Its no wonder he won Best Supporting Actor from The National Society of Film Critics. He plays perfectly this irresponsible ADDish looser with a perfect balance between rowdy and just plain insane.

Scorsese is a master of putting together small, almost insignificant scenes to achieve an over all theme, mood, or style. This is observed when Charlie often tries to touch fire, or when Charlie decides to get with a black chick, then changes his mind. Things like these seem meaningless at the time, but little did you know, it was painting a grand picture for you to step back and really think about when looking at it. And when you do step back and look at it, the picture is amazing.

With great direction, classic Scorsese style soundtrack, powerful acting, subtle yet strong story, and engaging theme, this flick will stick with you long after you view it.

Mean Streets gets 4 stars. It is a very well deserved classic. Its not gonna totally rock your cinema world, but if you get the chance to see it, you will most defiantly want to take up the opportunity. You WILL NOT be sorry!