Bedazzled

Bedazzled [1967]

Most of you are familiar with the movie made in 2000 called Bedazzled with Elizibeth Hurly and Brendan Fraser. But not all may be aware it was a part remake of a classic british hit staring comedy duo Dudley Moore and Peter Cook.

We start with Stanley Moon (Dudley Moore). Stanley is a short order cook at a local cafe. His one wish in life is to gain the courage to ask out the waitress that has worked there with him for years. After years of frustration, he decides to end his life. Before he does, the Devil (Peter Cook), offers him seven wishes in return for his soul.

After reluctantly accepting, he begins using his wishes. In between wishes, he spends most his time talking with the Devil and his many employees. The Devils employees include Anger, Sloth, Gluttony, and Lust (Raquel Welch) to name a few.  Soon, he starts to realize each wish has a twist or a catch. It is then up to him to out smart the Devil into getting what he really wants.

Well, lets begin with the positives. Cook and Moore work well together, and their timing is very natural. There are moments when I laughed out loud. Including the ‘pop star’ scene, the ’bouncy nun’ scene, and other parts where the two would banter. The movie is shot beautifully. It completely captures the ‘MOD’ scene of Swinging London. The music, the visuals, the clothing…. it’s all there!

But man, is it gonna cost you. The movie seems too long. Maybe they were revolutionary for the time, but I feel majority of the jokes were so small and tiny, you could see them coming a mile away. I wanted to fast forward often. And its no wonder they made the Devil a woman in the remake. Perhaps its because they are English, but at times, Stanley and the Devils relationship seemed down right homosexual. So when you have two males sharing the entire movie together, you should throw in some eye candy to get your mind on the ’straight’ path right? Well, perhaps that was what Raquel Welch was for. They have her plastered all over every poster, booklet or DVD cover for this movie. But shes hardly in the movie. I think you may see her twice and that’s it. So, Raquel fans, you will be disappointed.

A classic comedy it may be, but for me, I would say 2 stars. I think if you were REALLY in the mood for this sort of thing, it could be 3 stars. If you do watch it, I recommend watching it with friends so you can goof off during the movie MST3K style, it would make it a lot better than it was for me (alone in a room).

The Last Dragon

The Last Dragon [1985]

The Last Dragon stars Taimak as ‘Leroy Green’ AKA ‘Bruce Leroy’. Leroy is a devout kung fu practitioner that idolizes Bruce Lee. He is so in touch with eastern philosophy and arts, he is often uncomfortable in his Harlem setting.

He continues to follow his own path, no matter who makes fun of him or teases him. Soon, by chance, he falls in love with a Video DJ ‘Laura Charles’ played by Vanity. Laura has a popular TV show showcasing video talent for the masses. An evil and corrupt talent agent tries to kidnap Laura to force her to play his lousy acts. Leroy must come to the rescue and all the while battle thugs and other martial artists including ‘Sho Nuff‘ the shogun of Harlem played by Julius Carry. Leroy is also guided by a quest for personal enlightenment… a quest to attain ‘The Glow’.

Berry Gordy produced this little golden gem. As a matter of fact, the technical name is ‘Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon’. It was also used as a vehicle to boost carriers of several Motown artists. Motown was virtually on the brink of extinction in the mid 80s, and a movie would be a great way to make some sweet profits. Did I mention Berry Gordy produced this?!?! There are many shameless Motown plugs. Full songs are displayed with no apology, and even music videos have their own awkward sections that seem to force their way into this movie. Oh yeah! BERRY GORDY produced this!

Taimak is a fighter first, and he had to learn acting on the set while in between scenes. He doesn’t do a bad job, but it helps that the person he is playing is choppy, robotic, and out of touch. Vanity has a little song and dance number. Although I’m sure she is very attractive by 80s standards, her singing made me want to pull a cleaning string in one ear and out the other. And her tacky dancing made me want to turn off the movie.

Another thing that really got me worked up is the generalizing of Asian culture. Is it Japanese? Is it Chinese? NO! Its oriental dummy! He learns kung fu, a Chinese art, from a clearly Japanese teacher. Sho Nuff, a Chinese kung fu master is the Shogun of Harlem. A Shogun is Japanese. Leroy often dresses as a ninja, a Japanese style stealth fighter. Then he dresses like a Chinese rice farmer, but calls his parents mama-san and papa-san. San being the equivalent of Mr. or Mrs. in Japanese. Had they done just a slight bit of research, they could have avoided offending many cultures.

But wait… isn’t that kinda what the great US of A is all about? I mean, we are such a melting pot, its our job to generalize to a degree. Many out there agree that they would rather have Pizza Hut or Domino’s twice a week than Italian style pizza. Lots of Americans prefer teriyaki chicken to some of the other off the wall Japanese dishes. Just like Buddhism, we love to take what we feel are the best of each culture and assimilate it into our own.

Despite all the little nasty things I have to say about this movie. Its still has an undeniable charm. The comedy is over the top on purpose, the action is actually pretty dang good. Its filled with 80s cliches, and the style is awesome. Like a super cute kid that broke your expensive flashlight on accident, you cant stay mad at it. This movie had a lot of heart, a overall good message, and it was thoroughly entertaining.

So, even though we can be overly critical at times, the big question is, did I have fun? Yes, yes I did. And most all will too. 3 stars.

The Big Hit

The Big Hit [1998]

The Big Hit stars Mark Wahlberg as Melvin Smiley. Despite being a professional contract killer, Melvin is a little teddy bear. He is such a push over in fact, he will do ANYTHING to keep people from disliking him.

Low on cash, he decides with his co-workers, to take a kidnapping side job. Little do they know that the girl they are kidnapping is the goddaughter of their boss. But the biggest thing on Melvin’s mind is keeping everyone around him happy.

Everything falls apart for him when he is fighting with his mistress, his gold-digger fiances’ parents disapprove of him, the kidnapping goes to shambles, and his coworkers decide to throw him under the bus so they appear innocent.

Lucky for Melvin, the kidnapping victim teaches him a valuable lesson. You cannot please everyone.

The acting in this movie does not stand out. And many scenes are so in the time period, it would be hard for someone outside of the 90’s to understand it. There is a lot of ‘green screen’ action and fake smoke and mirrors. Sometimes, it tries so hard to be visually ‘hip’, and doesn’t realize that years down the road, it just looks like a joke.

However, on a similar note, the script seems ahead of its time. The style of the comedy and parody of a hit mans life is well balanced. Although corny at times, the jokes are for the most part, dead on. The movie is sprinkled with many inside jokes to keep it interesting. The movie was also very well paced.

I’m sure John Woo had something to do with the ’slick’ feel of the movie. The opening shoot out was reminiscent of ‘Hard Boiled’ and most welcome. And does anyone know where I can get Mark Wahlberg’s yellow gun-hands jacket?!?! That’s tight! The icing on the cake was Melvin’s yellow Pontiac Firebird.

Lou Diamond Phillips also was great and you can tell he had a lot of fun in the role. As far as acting goes, he carried the movie.

All in all, 3 stars. Good solid fun. But I wouldn’t pay more than $9 for it.